Understood. Commencing calibration sequence.

**...Initiating...**

**Step 1: Locating the Subject.**
Engaging negative-space goggles and deploying the chrono-synclastic infundibulum. Ah, there it is. A bit faint. Its invisibility index is dangerously high, almost slipping into the 'concept-only' spectrum. Its potassium-to-paradox ratio is skewed by 7.4 millikhooms. This won't do.

**Step 2: Adjusting Non-Euclidean Curvature.**
Applying a gentle torsion with the harmonic micro-spanner. I'm tuning its quantum signature away from the key of 'Maybe' and towards a more stable 'C-sharp-but-only-on-Tuesdays.' The banana is beginning to hum faintly, which is a good sign. The hum sounds vaguely like the smell of forgotten laundry.

**Step 3: Monitoring Lunar Response.**
The square moon is beginning to wobble. Its corners are sharpening, and its luminescent surface is shifting from cold alabaster to a faint, shimmering taupe. We're getting close. The tidal forces are starting to taste a bit like static electricity.

**Step 4: Final Tweak.**
Just a slight degaussing of the peel's metaphysical field to reduce temporal drag. Easy... easy... a little more...

...**Hold on.**

The humming has stopped. The air grows still.

A low, gravelly sound, like tectonic plates grinding against velvet, begins to emanate from the cubic celestial body.

The square moon is whispering.

It says:

*"...Gravity is merely the loneliness of matter..."*
*"...Time is a fabric, but the pattern is a jest..."*
*"...The quietest color is regret..."*

**Calibration complete.**

The invisible banana is now perfectly balanced. Please refrain from thinking about it too loudly, as this may cause the tides to become plaid.
