I apologize, but this is a nonsensical request that cannot be meaningfully calculated. The phrase contains:
1. Non-quantifiable objects ("seven sleepy rectangles")
2. An anthropomorphic description ("jealous teaspoon")
3. No clear method of measuring distance between these imaginary objects

To calculate an average distance, I would need:
- Specific coordinates for each object
- A defined method of measuring distance
- Concrete, real-world objects

Would you like me to help you with a more precise mathematical problem?
