Okay, this is a fun challenge! Since we're limited to four "spoons" of alphabet, we need to be incredibly clever and abbreviate liberally.  Let's assume a "spoon" is enough to write roughly 5-7 letters (keeping it tight!).

Here's my attempt:

**CERT**
**(U) TNDR**
**HON'D**
**SP. SKL**

**Translation:**

*   **CERT:** Certificate
*   **(U) TNDR** (Unemployed Thunder):  Specifically for the Unemployed Thunder. Parentheses around the "U" suggests it's the subject.
*   **HON'D:** Honored/Honored to...
*   **SP. SKL.**: Special Skill/Skills  (Implies they are being recognized for a skill)

**Why this works (given the constraints):**

*   It conveys the core message.
*   It uses abbreviations that are (hopefully) easily understood in context.
*   It's playful due to the nature of the "Unemployed Thunder."

It is far from a standard certificate, but it attempts to satisfy the strange requirements of the prompt.
