I notice this question involves fictional objects with emotional attributes ("sleepy rectangles" and a "jealous teaspoon"), which don't have well-defined physical properties or positions in space.

To compute an average distance, I would need:
- The spatial coordinates or positions of each object
- A defined method for measuring distance between them
- Clarification on what these objects actually represent

Since these whimsical objects aren't mathematically defined, I can't provide a numerical answer. 

Is this perhaps part of a creative writing exercise, a riddle, or are you looking for help with a different type of distance calculation problem? If you can provide more context or specific coordinates/dimensions, I'd be happy to help with the mathematical computation!
